I wish you would see me

among the distant crowd in the room

My eyes screaming to meet yours

yet yours nonchalantly preoccupied

reading, thinking, absorbed in thought

so busy with work

I wish you would look up and see me

smiling, and looking at you

hoping to catch your attention

but you were too concentrated

with your own agenda

I wish you would see me

as you pass by me

but you walked passed me

 oblivious of my presence

and marched toward exit door

Regrets of what could have been

linger in my mind

if only if only

if only you looked up

and smiled as you saw me

and stopped your work to greet me

if only, if only you saw and found me

most of all, among my petty regrets

if only I stood up

walked up and smiled at you

I wouldn't be writing this now.

Wilfing through the net I try
to find a site to console my cry
Googling lyrics of songs that sing
melodies of muted memories
decoding poems that might ring
a bell my unspoken feeling

In my pursuit to find
the refuge of my heart and mind
I think,a futile attempt this may be
- an incessant search for songs,
 someone, something
to understand me

Angelou, Wordsworth, Poe, Emerson,
Even Cobain, Pink, Mccartney and Dickenson
have said, they too have trekked
this arduous path
of emptiness, loneliness
apathy, unfeelingness

Their words reaffirm I am not alone
Yet somehow I remain still unconsoled
I can't relate with them totally
 No one really knows exactly
the secret place, the land of tears,
the loneliness, the song that no one hears

And since theres no one else I could recourse to
I'll just make this poem my avenue
To defecate my unexpressed blue
Hoping someone could relate
Thinking there might be a few
Wishing you would have a clue

Just as summer moves on

from the piercing and cold rainy nights

I too, have chosen to leave and move forward

to bloom under the sparkling summer light

The warmth, though unfamiliar to my skin

caresses me with tenderness and grace

It has revived the life you took from my body

Awakened the spirit out of place

Forgive me for leaving

but as seasons change

maybe so should we too

though it may seem strange

I want to grow and be loved in warmth

not out in the cold merciless rain

the season which you choose to play in

causes me too much sickness and pain

So goodbye for now

until our seasons meet

this parting is the best way

for our own great feat

Maybe in another time

Perhaps in another place

We could form a rainbow

under the same sky's space

I have never felt like this before

You came and brought back light into my eyes

The eyes that never see the little things

Eyes that look right through whats in front of me

Now I know this is how the world is

Never been so awed by it beauty

I love you like midnight sky's yearning for the spec of starlight. And among the billions,trillions of stars in the spacious blue, I single you out because to me, you are the brightest, the most perfect of all. I look up every night at your greatness and light only and only to admire your being which I will never own. 

So tonight, same as my other nights, I write of loneliness. Lonely because I earnestly love you with all my heart yet my heart's depthness you will never know because you are a star and I am but the night unfamiliar and non-existent to you. And I am  lonelier when you shine brilliantly above me, without a single clue that you are the only the universe that I know.

You do not know that you have given light to the core of darkness in my heart. You do not know how one sight of you can make this night turn day. You do not know how much I admire your celestial beauty that I would give up a thousand sunrise just to gaze up on you. I love you. That is the worst part of what you do not know. Of what you will never know. 

So in my misery I recourse to my only consolation that at least you are constant and will always be there in my night sky and I shall look forward to seeing you in hours of darkness, shining not only for me, but for everyone. And for that, I love you even more and will always do.